So, I realize that I have a problem with "just one." I gave in to some of my demons with jack in the box and burger king as you read in my last post. Then yesterday I had a brownie for breakfast... then I went to a bbq and went crazy. I had a light beer and three cocktails. I had a cheeseburger and a hot dog and chips and queso and cheez its and not one but TWO s'mores. TWO! This morning I wanted to see the damage that my indescretions had cost me. I had still lost two pounds from the last time I weighed myself, but then I wondered how much I WOULD have lost if I would have stuck to my guns. Granted, I've promised myself that this is a lifestyle change and I'm sure I won't say no to s'mores forever, so I'm not going to feel guilty. I'm going to use it as a learning experience to see what I am made of and to teach myself that giving in won't make me happy and I'll accomplish my goals faster if I don't give in.
What gave me this renewed motivation? At 22 pounds lost, I'm only five pounds away from my first major goal of losing 10% if my body weight! That's a huuuuge win for me as when I first started, 27 pounds seemed soooo unattainable. IT'S NOT EVEN FEBRUARY!!! I know I can do it. Too many people know, too many people are holding me accountable. That's the major difference. Oh, and I'm going start hiking with Dan from work, my gay work boyfriend. I'm stoked because I've ALWAYS seen myself hiking as I got older and that's one of the weekend things I see myself doing with my husband and kids. YAY! My fiture is finally beginning.
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Big Fat Faker
Today I feel like a big fat faker. Like a loser. Like someone who seen the light and rejected it only to wallow around in a pool of my own vomit. Today was a bad day. I'm pissed off for a couple of reasons, none will I mention here. But instead of waiting it out, praying about it or just letting it go, I returned to my old patterns.
After work today, I was frustrated and I headed for McDonalds. It was like it wasn't even me driving, but the primal urge to shove my frustration down into my belly with a Quarter Pounder (no cheese... I thought I was doing OK...). That was the wrong choice. The juicy burger and familiar mixture of onions, ketchup and pickles was more than I could bear and I was in a place of supreme happiness, in the clouds like a heroin junkie who just received their latest "fix."
That was all it took for a landslide of rollercoaster as I ascended to the top of the hill, all was OK. Then there was the downslide. I wanted more, wanted to feel the comfort of masticated bliss sliding towards my insides. I wanted another high. So I went to Jack in the Box and got some mozzarella sticks.... with ranch. Oh the sweet stringy cheese as I pulled the remainder of the stick from my mouth after the first heavenly bite. I reveled in it's elasticity and could think of nothing but the processed and breaded goodness swaggering it's saltiness over every last taste bud. My eyes glazed over for the ingestion of the rest of the snack. I wasn't in my body, I was on a cloud, high above the heavens, glowing with the light of a thousand suns. Once the last of the breaded angels were gone, I began to tumble down yet another alley of guilt. As horrible as I felt, I wanted to numb the pain. Numb it with chocolate. After all, I've already fucked up my day, right? Might as well get it all out at once, right? Bad idea.
I pondered which dealer should supply my next fix. McDonald's? Wendy's? Chevron for Hostess cupcakes? Then I saw it. The shine from the Grimm Reapers sheath in the window of Burger King and I was stuck in the beam of the Hershey Sundae Pie. Under no control of my own, I pulled into the drive thru and spotted a new kind of crack, a Butterfinger pie. Oh lord. Which one? I found myself ordering both of them. Who does that? I couldn't even make it home before tearing into the Butterfingery goodness. All the while, I was disgusted at this brazen display of gluttony. I waited until I got home before the consumption of the original sin. I hid in my garage, my privacy guarded like a bathroom stall as I savored the deliciousness of cream and chocolate. I allowed my eyes to roll back in my head as if I'd never had anything so good in my life. Then it was over and my pride was as empty as the containers, now just a symbol of my lack of self control.
Now I'm left with a ball in the pit of my stomach, equal parts crap and guilt. I'm going to the gym tonight in an attempt to work some of it off. I hope that this will be a memory that serves be better the next time I want to eat my stress instead of dealing with it.
After work today, I was frustrated and I headed for McDonalds. It was like it wasn't even me driving, but the primal urge to shove my frustration down into my belly with a Quarter Pounder (no cheese... I thought I was doing OK...). That was the wrong choice. The juicy burger and familiar mixture of onions, ketchup and pickles was more than I could bear and I was in a place of supreme happiness, in the clouds like a heroin junkie who just received their latest "fix."
That was all it took for a landslide of rollercoaster as I ascended to the top of the hill, all was OK. Then there was the downslide. I wanted more, wanted to feel the comfort of masticated bliss sliding towards my insides. I wanted another high. So I went to Jack in the Box and got some mozzarella sticks.... with ranch. Oh the sweet stringy cheese as I pulled the remainder of the stick from my mouth after the first heavenly bite. I reveled in it's elasticity and could think of nothing but the processed and breaded goodness swaggering it's saltiness over every last taste bud. My eyes glazed over for the ingestion of the rest of the snack. I wasn't in my body, I was on a cloud, high above the heavens, glowing with the light of a thousand suns. Once the last of the breaded angels were gone, I began to tumble down yet another alley of guilt. As horrible as I felt, I wanted to numb the pain. Numb it with chocolate. After all, I've already fucked up my day, right? Might as well get it all out at once, right? Bad idea.
I pondered which dealer should supply my next fix. McDonald's? Wendy's? Chevron for Hostess cupcakes? Then I saw it. The shine from the Grimm Reapers sheath in the window of Burger King and I was stuck in the beam of the Hershey Sundae Pie. Under no control of my own, I pulled into the drive thru and spotted a new kind of crack, a Butterfinger pie. Oh lord. Which one? I found myself ordering both of them. Who does that? I couldn't even make it home before tearing into the Butterfingery goodness. All the while, I was disgusted at this brazen display of gluttony. I waited until I got home before the consumption of the original sin. I hid in my garage, my privacy guarded like a bathroom stall as I savored the deliciousness of cream and chocolate. I allowed my eyes to roll back in my head as if I'd never had anything so good in my life. Then it was over and my pride was as empty as the containers, now just a symbol of my lack of self control.
Now I'm left with a ball in the pit of my stomach, equal parts crap and guilt. I'm going to the gym tonight in an attempt to work some of it off. I hope that this will be a memory that serves be better the next time I want to eat my stress instead of dealing with it.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Tired today
So, I did go to the gym and do fifteen minutes on the treadmill this morning. Not a whole lot, but any bit helps and it helped keep me in the routine. I did feel better after I was done and I did feel like fifteen minutes wasn't long enough, but I was on a bit of a time crunch because I needed to meet Kendelle to go out to Tuscon. Her mom was throwing a baby shower for her and she didn't want to go out there by herself so I got to tag along.
I had to view this shower as a real-life challenge as I don't live in a bubble and life will be full of baby showers and wedding showers and stuff. So, I didn't do as well as I'd hoped, but I did a lot better than I would have in the past. I had a cupcake, but I started at the bottom and didn't eat all the frosting and I had one small (very small) piece of cake (I actually cut a third off of a piece and had that). I didn't completely avoid them (like I probably should have) but normally I would have eaten two cupcakes and a regular size piece of cake and taken home the candy that was the prize in the game (I won a full size snickers and a baby ruth) and a couple of the cookie take-home bags.
I realize this is a marathon and not a sprint and there will be pitfalls and better days and worse days, but I just have to keep on truckin' and remember that it will all be worth it in the end, when I'm hiking or when I'm shopping or when I'm getting married or whatever.
I heard this phrase today and I'm thinking of adopting it as sort of a mantra. :"Good health is the foundation for all other good things" I want good things for my life so good health is essential. Part of that is sleep. It's time to make that happen.
I had to view this shower as a real-life challenge as I don't live in a bubble and life will be full of baby showers and wedding showers and stuff. So, I didn't do as well as I'd hoped, but I did a lot better than I would have in the past. I had a cupcake, but I started at the bottom and didn't eat all the frosting and I had one small (very small) piece of cake (I actually cut a third off of a piece and had that). I didn't completely avoid them (like I probably should have) but normally I would have eaten two cupcakes and a regular size piece of cake and taken home the candy that was the prize in the game (I won a full size snickers and a baby ruth) and a couple of the cookie take-home bags.
I realize this is a marathon and not a sprint and there will be pitfalls and better days and worse days, but I just have to keep on truckin' and remember that it will all be worth it in the end, when I'm hiking or when I'm shopping or when I'm getting married or whatever.
I heard this phrase today and I'm thinking of adopting it as sort of a mantra. :"Good health is the foundation for all other good things" I want good things for my life so good health is essential. Part of that is sleep. It's time to make that happen.
DAH!
Today is not a good day. I'm getting ready to go the the gym to hit a little bit of cardio before getting ready to go to tuscon. I don't want to. I want to crawl back into bed and sleep all day. My muscles are tired, I'm tired and yesterday I had two bites of a cookie. It wasn't that good and it wasn't worth the calories. I ate a morningstar farms chicken patty at midnight. I feel bloated. Too much sodium. I hope working out takes the BLAH feeling away today. I wonder if there's a correlation between the cookie and the patty to how I feel right now. I'll let you know.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Those annoying pants
Everyone has that annoying pair of pants. The one they want to wear, the one they can barely squeeze into, the one they jump up and down and lay down on the bed and suck it in and create gadgets to shove in the zipper and try to get them together with as much impossibility of Romeo and Juliet being happy. They're annoying because they almost fit. They fit once and they may have been a bit snug, but they fit. Then they didn't. You try them periodically, "just to see." Well, today, I took a leap of faith and took them to change into after getting done at the gym. I was heading to church and didn't really want to be marinating during service in my yoga pants, so I brought everything to take a shower and change so I could head straight over. I had a brief moment of hesitation but as I folded the cloth over the metal button and brought together the star-crossed lovers, I smiled. This whole eating right and working out thing acutally works. I think I'll keep doing it.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
well I never...
Thought I'd be able to do ten minutes on an elliptical. It's only been a week and a half! Who would have thought!? I'm on such a high, it's amazing. Even Diana went to work out with me and she got into it! Yaaay! Ok, off to sleep. That is all.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Week one of working out: CHECK!
It's been one week since my first meeting with Gabe and since my journey into the land of exercise. So far, I've survived, so that's a good sign! I'm absolutely amazed at the progress the human body can make in just a week. I'm already more flexible and I can tell the strength difference in my legs while I'm at work when I go to do squats to clean and stuff. I wake up and stretch and I've tried to do SOMEthing every day, whether it's just a little cardio on the treadmill (I can do 20 minutes! *big cheesy grin*) or doing some dips against the counters or calf raises at work. I haven't been to the point where I'm so sore that I can't move, and I credit that to a lot of stretching and for not taking too much time between workouts. Gabe said that the muscles are still conditioned (or something like that) for 72 hours so that's one of the reasons you don't have to work out the same muscles every day and it's good to mix it up.
I did get schooled by my roomie Diana in hip hop aerobics a couple days ago, so I definitely need to work on my coordination and it's definitely a great starting point and it'll be awesome to look back in a couple months and see how far I've come.
Ok, just a little check in. My internet has been acting up a little, so I haven't been able to check in the last couple days. This is Muffin Top, over and out.
I did get schooled by my roomie Diana in hip hop aerobics a couple days ago, so I definitely need to work on my coordination and it's definitely a great starting point and it'll be awesome to look back in a couple months and see how far I've come.
Ok, just a little check in. My internet has been acting up a little, so I haven't been able to check in the last couple days. This is Muffin Top, over and out.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
The Journey to the Center of my Girth
Here's something called a "ticker" that is a visual of how far I've come on this journey to the center of my girth. This is just a catalog for the 90 pounds I plan to lose this year. At 225, I'm down 16 pounds from my highest weight of 271 at Thanksgiving this year. Not that it counts in this experiment, I just like to add the extra 9 pounds. *wink*
NEW YEAR'S 2008
NEW YEAR'S 2009
NEW YEAR'S 2008
NEW YEAR'S 2009
Saturday, January 10, 2009
changing the tape
We've all heard the phrase "to get something you've never had, you have to do something you've never done." I'm trying to reprogram myself to come to a place where making better choices is automatic. I'm getting there slowly, but it's not easy. It's usually the hardest when I'm stressed, pissed or tired. That's when I used to run to the comforting glow of the golden arches or could hear the taco bell ringing my name.
I have to remind myself that that is how I got myself into this mess in the first place. Food is my drug of choice and that is what I have used practically my whole life as celebration, my boyfriend, a time filler, my therapist, or as a plan for stress management. I never exercised because I never felt like I was doing it right the first time so I just gave up on it. Or, I'd do it once, feel accomplished and go drink a soda or have some fries on my next drive thru trip to celebrate or because "I'd burned it off already." I never MADE THE CHOICE to get iced tea or water or milk at a restaurant. I never MADE THE CHOICE to get a salad or the grilled fish or grilled chicken because I didn't want the people behind the counter to think I was on a diet because I JUST KNEW that's what they were thinking. Because it's all about me. Everyone is making a judgement every time they see me or see me put anything in my mouth, right? Wrong. Even if they are, who cares? They're not going to be the ones on dialysis after my kidneys quit out on me from the diabetes I'll get if I keep going this direction.
I began observing the people in my section at work and began to realize a pattern. More often than not, the fluffy patrons are not the ones ordering the grilled salmon with asparagus instead of the fries. The fluffy patrons are not the ones ordering water. The fluffy patrons are not the ones asking me to take the bread off the table. And yet, the not fluffy patrons seem more relaxed and just as happy as the others. It is my belief, based soley on my observations and my lifelong battle with my weight, that the not fluffy patrons are happy and more relaxed because they know they are making a good choice in the face of 200 unhealthy options and the fluffy patrons are happy because they are getting their fix. Do I think the not fluffy patrons want to be eating the grilled chicken and broccoli instead of the Madiera, covered in cheese and a wine sauce with butter and mashed potatoes? Not really. But I understand now why they do.
I'm happy when I got out to eat because it's what I love to do. I love having someone wait on me for a change, I love the conversation, I love the intimacy of becoming friends with someone and getting to know them better, I love seeing people around me interacting, I love the music, I love the ambiance, I love the different experiences you get at different places, I love it all. And yes, I love the food. The thing that will make the difference in this whole equation is what I CHOOSE to order. I still get the conversation, observation, music, ambiance and experience if I get grilled fish or a bacon cheeseburger with fries and ranch.
And a bonus I never expected: I still get to have a high almost every day, only this time it comes from knowing that I worked out and did something good for myself and from seeing the progress that I'm making. It comes from taking the stairs instead of the elevator and seeing how much easier it's becoming. It comes from my shaking leg as I'm sitting down because I know my body is burning calories and needs some place for the energy to be released. It comes from people asking me if my hair is lighter because it's not. My face is thinner and people can tell something is different, they just can't pinpoint it, so it must be my hair, right?
So, I'm changing the tape. After all, I can't be listening to The Used if I have Elliott Yamin in the CD player, right? So, I'm kicking Elliott to the curb along with french fries, cheesecake, cheeseburgers, strawberry shortcake, chipotle pasta and spicy crispy chicken sandwiches. It's not to say I won't put him in for a brief ride every now and then when I REALLY need it. I'll just listen to one song and switch it back and make the RIGHT choices.
I have to remind myself that that is how I got myself into this mess in the first place. Food is my drug of choice and that is what I have used practically my whole life as celebration, my boyfriend, a time filler, my therapist, or as a plan for stress management. I never exercised because I never felt like I was doing it right the first time so I just gave up on it. Or, I'd do it once, feel accomplished and go drink a soda or have some fries on my next drive thru trip to celebrate or because "I'd burned it off already." I never MADE THE CHOICE to get iced tea or water or milk at a restaurant. I never MADE THE CHOICE to get a salad or the grilled fish or grilled chicken because I didn't want the people behind the counter to think I was on a diet because I JUST KNEW that's what they were thinking. Because it's all about me. Everyone is making a judgement every time they see me or see me put anything in my mouth, right? Wrong. Even if they are, who cares? They're not going to be the ones on dialysis after my kidneys quit out on me from the diabetes I'll get if I keep going this direction.
I began observing the people in my section at work and began to realize a pattern. More often than not, the fluffy patrons are not the ones ordering the grilled salmon with asparagus instead of the fries. The fluffy patrons are not the ones ordering water. The fluffy patrons are not the ones asking me to take the bread off the table. And yet, the not fluffy patrons seem more relaxed and just as happy as the others. It is my belief, based soley on my observations and my lifelong battle with my weight, that the not fluffy patrons are happy and more relaxed because they know they are making a good choice in the face of 200 unhealthy options and the fluffy patrons are happy because they are getting their fix. Do I think the not fluffy patrons want to be eating the grilled chicken and broccoli instead of the Madiera, covered in cheese and a wine sauce with butter and mashed potatoes? Not really. But I understand now why they do.
I'm happy when I got out to eat because it's what I love to do. I love having someone wait on me for a change, I love the conversation, I love the intimacy of becoming friends with someone and getting to know them better, I love seeing people around me interacting, I love the music, I love the ambiance, I love the different experiences you get at different places, I love it all. And yes, I love the food. The thing that will make the difference in this whole equation is what I CHOOSE to order. I still get the conversation, observation, music, ambiance and experience if I get grilled fish or a bacon cheeseburger with fries and ranch.
And a bonus I never expected: I still get to have a high almost every day, only this time it comes from knowing that I worked out and did something good for myself and from seeing the progress that I'm making. It comes from taking the stairs instead of the elevator and seeing how much easier it's becoming. It comes from my shaking leg as I'm sitting down because I know my body is burning calories and needs some place for the energy to be released. It comes from people asking me if my hair is lighter because it's not. My face is thinner and people can tell something is different, they just can't pinpoint it, so it must be my hair, right?
So, I'm changing the tape. After all, I can't be listening to The Used if I have Elliott Yamin in the CD player, right? So, I'm kicking Elliott to the curb along with french fries, cheesecake, cheeseburgers, strawberry shortcake, chipotle pasta and spicy crispy chicken sandwiches. It's not to say I won't put him in for a brief ride every now and then when I REALLY need it. I'll just listen to one song and switch it back and make the RIGHT choices.
Friday, January 9, 2009
I have a cute collar bone--when I was 11!
Ok, so why are you reading this, you are asking yourself...why am I doing this blog with my buddy who lives 4 states away, who I haven't seen in 5 years, who also needs to loose some lbs because, quite honestly its a lot of work staying this fluffy and keeping up this girth! It's no fun anymore and we have decided to be eachothers support, give eachother good advice and hopefully get some laughs along the way! Ms Muffintop and I hope to share some things with you and maybe, just maybe be an inspiration to others with the same feelings and frusterations...
In the world of weightloss, there are tons of self help books, cooks, live your best life, have the best booty, blah blah blah...When there are so many gyms, programs, pills and hypnosis gurus out there helping us to loose weight why in the sweet name of my moms lovely apple pie am I still fat? Well, maybe the apple pie I just mentioned!! (PS: Have you tried her apple pie, oh my! Look her up, sweet talk her and ask nicely to have her make you one and you will understand, oh yes, you will understand...) Ok, back to weightloss--I'm just not as brave as my partner in crime here and let you know my weight, maybe later. But I have 150 lbs to lose and I want to lose it for the last time. I have tried a lot of diet programs, yeah, I have lost weight on them, but I never keep it off! I have a laundry list of health issues that I need to control. On top of the daily issues with my weight I have back problems, mood swings, acne, I'm tired all the time. Most importantly, I have Polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) and insulin resistance. A lot of women suffer from these two conditions and don't even know it. Insulin resistance runs really similar to diabetes, but its not quite the real deal. Some of the symptoms include irregular periods, or none at all, issues with pregnancy, hormone issues, as well as a laundry list of issues including facial hair, blood sugar, loss of hair, and the one symptom I love the most--its really easy to gain weight and really hard to lose it! So, everytime I lose weight, I have to lose twice as hard as before.
My mom is a real inspiration, she has lost over 60 lbs and losing more and more every week. She woke up one day in April last year and decided today is the day to change. She isn't dieting at all, in fact, she eats whatever she wants, whenever she wants but she is controlling her portions. She decided to make these few simple changes and the lbs started melting away. She added excersize to her life and she still saw the pounds coming off, its like a switch went off in her head! I want to do the same thing. I don't want to count calories or obsess over each lame pound I have to lose. I'm going to make just a few changes and work up to excersizing. I currently have pneumonia and just making this decision is the first step, and right now that is all I'm going to do. As I start feeling better and recovered I'm going to start make some of these positive changes to feeling and looking better. Till next time, live your life and stop counting those chins, embrace them and accept them...they have feelings too! xoxo
In the world of weightloss, there are tons of self help books, cooks, live your best life, have the best booty, blah blah blah...When there are so many gyms, programs, pills and hypnosis gurus out there helping us to loose weight why in the sweet name of my moms lovely apple pie am I still fat? Well, maybe the apple pie I just mentioned!! (PS: Have you tried her apple pie, oh my! Look her up, sweet talk her and ask nicely to have her make you one and you will understand, oh yes, you will understand...) Ok, back to weightloss--I'm just not as brave as my partner in crime here and let you know my weight, maybe later. But I have 150 lbs to lose and I want to lose it for the last time. I have tried a lot of diet programs, yeah, I have lost weight on them, but I never keep it off! I have a laundry list of health issues that I need to control. On top of the daily issues with my weight I have back problems, mood swings, acne, I'm tired all the time. Most importantly, I have Polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) and insulin resistance. A lot of women suffer from these two conditions and don't even know it. Insulin resistance runs really similar to diabetes, but its not quite the real deal. Some of the symptoms include irregular periods, or none at all, issues with pregnancy, hormone issues, as well as a laundry list of issues including facial hair, blood sugar, loss of hair, and the one symptom I love the most--its really easy to gain weight and really hard to lose it! So, everytime I lose weight, I have to lose twice as hard as before.
My mom is a real inspiration, she has lost over 60 lbs and losing more and more every week. She woke up one day in April last year and decided today is the day to change. She isn't dieting at all, in fact, she eats whatever she wants, whenever she wants but she is controlling her portions. She decided to make these few simple changes and the lbs started melting away. She added excersize to her life and she still saw the pounds coming off, its like a switch went off in her head! I want to do the same thing. I don't want to count calories or obsess over each lame pound I have to lose. I'm going to make just a few changes and work up to excersizing. I currently have pneumonia and just making this decision is the first step, and right now that is all I'm going to do. As I start feeling better and recovered I'm going to start make some of these positive changes to feeling and looking better. Till next time, live your life and stop counting those chins, embrace them and accept them...they have feelings too! xoxo
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Now THIS is getting high
No, this isn't a blog about drugs, it's about the workout I just had. Granted, I'm taking it slow so I don't hurt myself and end up with a reason not to work out, but I just did 15 minutes on the treadmill and while it may be "small patatas" to most of you, it's a BIG win for me. Especially because I wasn't taking a lazy stroll the whole time. I actually got to huffin' it! And weird, because the faster I went, the faster time went. I don't even remember minute 7-14 and I was ready to quit after 6! It's probably because I really got into the song I was listening to and as I was punching my arms, I pictured a face in front of it. What? Free therapy? HAHAHA I'm loving the way I feel right now. I'm going to work out with Gabe tomorrow again and I'm pumped!
Oh, that's right, I haven't mentioned Gabe yet. No, he's not my boyfriend, lover, brother, uncle, boss, coworker or grocery bagger, he's my "trainer." I put "trainer" in "quotations" because I'm taking a class at the rec center, not paying a full time personal trainer a gagillion dollars. He is trained to do it, but because he's in a wheelchair I guess he can't be certified in it or something? I don't know, I'm just speculating here. I don't even care that he's in a wheelchair. After all, I'm the one doing the workouts, not him. He's just supervising. Anyway, we met for the first time with the other lady from the class (Judy? Janet? something with a J....) and went through all the circuit equipment and tomorrow we're going to go through a workout while he makes sure we're doing everything correctly and stuff. I want him to show me how to do some of the freeweights because that's what we have the most of in the gym at my complex and if i'm ever away from a "gym" I can still do freeweights at home. And we're going to learn stuff on the ball too. I'm glad to have someone I can go to to answer any of my questions. I want to do things right this time and I want to learn as much as I can so I can help those around me who want it also. Fluffy girls travel in packs and I want them to find as much joy in life as I have found recently!
Oh, that's right, I haven't mentioned Gabe yet. No, he's not my boyfriend, lover, brother, uncle, boss, coworker or grocery bagger, he's my "trainer." I put "trainer" in "quotations" because I'm taking a class at the rec center, not paying a full time personal trainer a gagillion dollars. He is trained to do it, but because he's in a wheelchair I guess he can't be certified in it or something? I don't know, I'm just speculating here. I don't even care that he's in a wheelchair. After all, I'm the one doing the workouts, not him. He's just supervising. Anyway, we met for the first time with the other lady from the class (Judy? Janet? something with a J....) and went through all the circuit equipment and tomorrow we're going to go through a workout while he makes sure we're doing everything correctly and stuff. I want him to show me how to do some of the freeweights because that's what we have the most of in the gym at my complex and if i'm ever away from a "gym" I can still do freeweights at home. And we're going to learn stuff on the ball too. I'm glad to have someone I can go to to answer any of my questions. I want to do things right this time and I want to learn as much as I can so I can help those around me who want it also. Fluffy girls travel in packs and I want them to find as much joy in life as I have found recently!
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
I know my bones are in here somewhere...
I'm Mandi. Fatty #1. It's January 6, 2009 and I currently weigh 258 pounds. At the beginning of this year I weighed 262 and that is where my journey began. I have commited to myself that this year I will lose 90 pounds. 90 in '09. I've made attempts at losing weight before, but it was always for the wrong reasons. This year, it's for me. I'm the only one who is going to live my life. This time, I'm doing it right and taking everything I've learned in all of my failed attempts and turning it into something positive. I started taking a class at the rec center with a trainer so I can learn the CORRECT ways of doing the exercises. It's also helping me get into a routine of working out on a schedule so I can begin making it a habit. I've replaced unhealthy foods I like with healthier versions so I don't feel deprived. I LOVE chocolate, so I'm having a chocolate protein shake for breakfast blended with some blackberries or banana so I don't go crazy and eat a whole bag of Oreo's.
I've always struggled with my weight and I use humor to diffuse uncomfortable situations, so I refer to myself, "Just like a Cadillac, built for comfort, not for speed." Or "I'm not fat, I'm fluffy. I'm in shape, I'm round. Round is a shape. What do you like to do with fluffy things? You like to cuddle with them, you like to pet them, they keep you warm..." But right now, the only thing being kept warm is my cankles.
One day, the life I envision for the future will match the life I'm living in the present. It'll happen, just one step at a time.
I've always struggled with my weight and I use humor to diffuse uncomfortable situations, so I refer to myself, "Just like a Cadillac, built for comfort, not for speed." Or "I'm not fat, I'm fluffy. I'm in shape, I'm round. Round is a shape. What do you like to do with fluffy things? You like to cuddle with them, you like to pet them, they keep you warm..." But right now, the only thing being kept warm is my cankles.
One day, the life I envision for the future will match the life I'm living in the present. It'll happen, just one step at a time.
You Say Potato, I Say "With Butter"
It's no wonder I got myself in this situation in the first place, right?
This is a blog written by two girls. We met our freshman year in high school in Southern California. One of us moved to Oregon during her junior year in high school and has lived there ever since and the other has moved around a lot in the last few years. One of us is married and the other is single and loving it. One of us has a daughter and the other has a dog. One of us works in healthcare insurance and the other works in a restaurant. With all of our differences, we have one thing in common: weight. We both have too much. We would both rather drink Mt. Dew and watch movies all day than work out. We'd both rather eat Ben & Jerry's out of the carton than snack on a carrot stick. And we're both sick of it. And you get to read ALL about it. Lucky, lucky you.
This is a blog written by two girls. We met our freshman year in high school in Southern California. One of us moved to Oregon during her junior year in high school and has lived there ever since and the other has moved around a lot in the last few years. One of us is married and the other is single and loving it. One of us has a daughter and the other has a dog. One of us works in healthcare insurance and the other works in a restaurant. With all of our differences, we have one thing in common: weight. We both have too much. We would both rather drink Mt. Dew and watch movies all day than work out. We'd both rather eat Ben & Jerry's out of the carton than snack on a carrot stick. And we're both sick of it. And you get to read ALL about it. Lucky, lucky you.
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