A day like Alexander's

Do you remember the book "Alexander and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day?" Well I do. And I lived it yesterday. Well, at least in the second half of the day. I never truly understood what a vital role protein and fiber in the morning play in your satiety levels through the rest of the day. I woke up late yesterday and didn't have time to grab anything for breakfast. I had a bowl of Cheerios at work around nine or so, but that was four hours after I had woken up. I grabbed a Farmhouse grilled chicken salad from Arby's on the way home and picked out most of the bacon. The salad had onions on it and I had a bite or two and was in my roommate room resetting her computer and she HATES onions, so I grabbed a Skinny Cow dipped bar to try to get compensate for the scent of onions until I could finish my salad a few minutes later. I wonder if that woke up my sugar sense or something because by the time I got home from taking my roommate to the airport, I was craving chocolate and real sugar, and bad! I have some of those "no pudge brownies" that you mix with yogurt and put in the microwave for a single serving. That wouldn't have been so bad, had I not put chocolate frosting on top of it. And eaten chocolate frosting out of the can while the brownie was heating. And after I had already had the brownie. And while I was waiting for a second brownie to cook. And after I had eaten that one. Total, I probably had three or four tablespoons of frosting... gross.
Then I went to work and didn't have anything there, but on the way home I passed by Taco Bell and this is where the shameful feelings I've had so far today have surfaced. They have these new enchilada platters and I've wanted to try them since I saw them. I wasn't even hungry as I pulled into the drive thru. I heard myself order and I wasn't going to get anything to drink. Then I ordered a small fruit punch. Then I saw it was only a dollar more for the combo that came with a large drink and a small drink was $1.09, so it made more "financial sense" to get the large. I had planned to only eat half and put the rest in the fridge for later... because if history says anything, I'll forget about it and won't end up eating the leftovers. Yeah, and I should have listened to my own history to realize that I don't eat half. If I made a habit of eating half, I'd be half my size and that obviously isn't the case otherwise I wouldn't be blogging about this right now. So, I had the whole platter. And the whole large sugar filled "fruit" punch (which should be named sugar-filled crack in a cup made to taste somewhat like a combination of fruits.)
I think what is digging away at me more than the fact that I gave into temptation... yet again... is the fact that for the first time this morning, I woke up with that voice in my head. The one that says there's no way I can do this. The one who says I don't deserve this. The one who says I was stupid to even think I could try. And here I am, blogging about how disappointed I am in myself instead of working off what I did at the gym.
I know tomorrow is another day and I should hush those voices because I can do this and I will make it happen, but for now I'm having a little pity party... while enjoying my slim fast shake with berries blended in. Happy Valentines to me I guess.