A sense of accomplishment

Life is really good right now. I've hit my first goal of losing 10% of my body weight (27 pounds so I'm currently at 245), I'm working out on a regular basis and just learning to take care of myself. I consider myself a nurturer by nature (say that ten times fast!) and I'm worried about the well being of others, but have never taken the time to put myself and my health first. I finally realized that I'll be of no use to anyone else if I'm no good to me.
As you've read, that has had a big impact on my life and my decision making this year. I'm making much better choices and I'm finally beginning to see the benefits of those choices. It's not only in the number on the scale, it's also in the sense of accomplishment I feel when I can bend down at work and be able to get back up. It pops up when I look in my closet for something to wear and I see THOSE jeans. The ones that I bought expecting them to fit and when I got them, they fit, but more like a wetsuit than something to relax in. The ones that now slide easily over my hips and thighs and are almost a little baggy and give me room to breathe.
I feel like I'm able to climb a mountain.. oh WAIT! I DID!! My friend Dan and I went hiking last week and although I wasn't able to climb the whole mountain, I refuse to feel bad about it because we got about a third of the way up and it's an intermediate/expert climb. Um, hello? Can anyone say beginner??? I tried to upload a couple of pictures, but then my computer crashed, so I won't try again...
Today I took a self defense course and it kind of kicked my butt (no pun intended), but it felt great! I'm glad I've been working out because it helped with some of the strength required for some of the moves, but you also use a lot of different muscles that you don't normally use, so it was a nice workout also. It actually made me a little interested in taking a longer self defense course or a martial arts course because it's a great skill to have in case I ever need it and it's a great workout. WEIRD! I'm talking about great workouts! And hiking! AND I LOVE IT! I love this person I'm becoming. I'm happy I'm getting out of the routine of being lazy and eating crap and putting nothing but chemicals into my body.
Interstingly enough, I feel more focused and like all the energy I have is harnessed in a healthier direction so I'm not as all over the place with my adult ADD (I've been diagnosed by a professional, I'm not using it as a cop out at all. It's not something I'm proud of but it's something I'm learning to live with and use to my advantage.)
Being proud of my self is a new feeling for me. I was proud of myself when I did well in school. I was proud of myself when I lost all the weight before I had my gallbladder surgery. I've been proud of myself that I've been able to successfully support myself without NEEDING a man. But this is totally different. This is me making great choices for ME so I'll have a better future. So I'll attract a higher caliber partner because I'll be at a higher caliber myself. Not right away, but one small step at a time.

Week one of working out: CHECK!

It's been one week since my first meeting with Gabe and since my journey into the land of exercise. So far, I've survived, so that's a good sign! I'm absolutely amazed at the progress the human body can make in just a week. I'm already more flexible and I can tell the strength difference in my legs while I'm at work when I go to do squats to clean and stuff. I wake up and stretch and I've tried to do SOMEthing every day, whether it's just a little cardio on the treadmill (I can do 20 minutes! *big cheesy grin*) or doing some dips against the counters or calf raises at work. I haven't been to the point where I'm so sore that I can't move, and I credit that to a lot of stretching and for not taking too much time between workouts. Gabe said that the muscles are still conditioned (or something like that) for 72 hours so that's one of the reasons you don't have to work out the same muscles every day and it's good to mix it up.
I did get schooled by my roomie Diana in hip hop aerobics a couple days ago, so I definitely need to work on my coordination and it's definitely a great starting point and it'll be awesome to look back in a couple months and see how far I've come.
Ok, just a little check in. My internet has been acting up a little, so I haven't been able to check in the last couple days. This is Muffin Top, over and out.

Now THIS is getting high

No, this isn't a blog about drugs, it's about the workout I just had. Granted, I'm taking it slow so I don't hurt myself and end up with a reason not to work out, but I just did 15 minutes on the treadmill and while it may be "small patatas" to most of you, it's a BIG win for me. Especially because I wasn't taking a lazy stroll the whole time. I actually got to huffin' it! And weird, because the faster I went, the faster time went. I don't even remember minute 7-14 and I was ready to quit after 6! It's probably because I really got into the song I was listening to and as I was punching my arms, I pictured a face in front of it. What? Free therapy? HAHAHA I'm loving the way I feel right now. I'm going to work out with Gabe tomorrow again and I'm pumped!

Oh, that's right, I haven't mentioned Gabe yet. No, he's not my boyfriend, lover, brother, uncle, boss, coworker or grocery bagger, he's my "trainer." I put "trainer" in "quotations" because I'm taking a class at the rec center, not paying a full time personal trainer a gagillion dollars. He is trained to do it, but because he's in a wheelchair I guess he can't be certified in it or something? I don't know, I'm just speculating here. I don't even care that he's in a wheelchair. After all, I'm the one doing the workouts, not him. He's just supervising. Anyway, we met for the first time with the other lady from the class (Judy? Janet? something with a J....) and went through all the circuit equipment and tomorrow we're going to go through a workout while he makes sure we're doing everything correctly and stuff. I want him to show me how to do some of the freeweights because that's what we have the most of in the gym at my complex and if i'm ever away from a "gym" I can still do freeweights at home. And we're going to learn stuff on the ball too. I'm glad to have someone I can go to to answer any of my questions. I want to do things right this time and I want to learn as much as I can so I can help those around me who want it also. Fluffy girls travel in packs and I want them to find as much joy in life as I have found recently!

I know my bones are in here somewhere...

I'm Mandi. Fatty #1. It's January 6, 2009 and I currently weigh 258 pounds. At the beginning of this year I weighed 262 and that is where my journey began. I have commited to myself that this year I will lose 90 pounds. 90 in '09. I've made attempts at losing weight before, but it was always for the wrong reasons. This year, it's for me. I'm the only one who is going to live my life. This time, I'm doing it right and taking everything I've learned in all of my failed attempts and turning it into something positive. I started taking a class at the rec center with a trainer so I can learn the CORRECT ways of doing the exercises. It's also helping me get into a routine of working out on a schedule so I can begin making it a habit. I've replaced unhealthy foods I like with healthier versions so I don't feel deprived. I LOVE chocolate, so I'm having a chocolate protein shake for breakfast blended with some blackberries or banana so I don't go crazy and eat a whole bag of Oreo's.

I've always struggled with my weight and I use humor to diffuse uncomfortable situations, so I refer to myself, "Just like a Cadillac, built for comfort, not for speed." Or "I'm not fat, I'm fluffy. I'm in shape, I'm round. Round is a shape. What do you like to do with fluffy things? You like to cuddle with them, you like to pet them, they keep you warm..." But right now, the only thing being kept warm is my cankles.

One day, the life I envision for the future will match the life I'm living in the present. It'll happen, just one step at a time.